oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
