Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
