The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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