this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
