he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
