Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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