I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
