i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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