New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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