Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
