Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
