are you still at the devil's house?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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