my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
