Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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