Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
