I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
