You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
