Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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