HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
soo... how was my night?
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