What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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