C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Randomize
