well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
