Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
