if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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