hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize