dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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