actually, I'm a sock model
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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