Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
