So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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