Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
