Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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