Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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