omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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