You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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