I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
