I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
