Sponge bath it is.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dignity is for republicans.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
