you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
