This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
