I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
