New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
