FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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