I am puke
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
