why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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