oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
