you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
