I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Success! We fucked roommates!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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