Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We need to rekindle our bromance
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
