Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
