did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
