you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
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Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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