So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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