She is in my trunk
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
