I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize