My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
