yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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