I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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