You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
