Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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