I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
