Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
