We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
