Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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